"ABOUT US" page with a PLOT-TWIST 😳

About you, us
& creepy clowns!

Horror story & your better future

Internet is a shitshow stage of wannabe clowns as you already experienced. Due diligence is a must. And we’ll come to that in a sec.

But starting to fill this page up with humble-brags without real context would be stupidly-selfish and just what most other agencies on the planet are doing – trying to suffocate you with their “sugar-candies” & “balloons” – *brrrr* 🥶

Let’s rather tell you about BEFORE & AFTER.

horror stories of clients.
BEFORE working with us.

Catch 22 is that you don’t know you’ve chosen wrong until you’re so deep in 🐰 rabbit’s hole you don’t see light at the end of your "project", not in front of you, nor going back.

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Buying stuff you don’t need!

»One puzzle piece« sold & priced as complete picture for ”solving” ALL your problems. In isolation. Not a part of converting strategy; strangers to visitors, visitors to customers, customers to repeated customers & referrals. Result? Bunch of money-eating products/services you never needed to begin with, without worthwhile results!

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Building websites that suck!

Maybe pretty ones…but definitely full of ‘crickets’ – ZERO conversion rate of visitors to prospects/customers. Likely slow and nerve-wrecking on top of that (check yours, then contact us to fix it). We rarely run into owners who have at least minimal optimizations in place. Result? Search engines & visitors avoid you like a plague!

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Recommending strategies & tactics that don’t work!

Not that suggested stuff doesn’t work (that’s fact), but it’s heavily taxing your time, energy, focus, money, and any real chance to win big – to finally fix things for good. Irony? Everything works, maybe unsuitable for your current stage of business or resources. Maybe not executed correctly or fully, etc. Whoever sold you strategy/tactic should know better!

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Making competition-promoting offers?!

Offers so same, unclear, or perceived irrelevant & “whatever” virtually forcing visitors of your website (aka leads & prospects) to, not just research, but spend their money with your competition. Result? You’re financing competitors whereas you’re left "thirsty" in the middle of the desert. It’s sad. Fixable. But sad.

…inflated ad spends, NEGATIVE ad-campaigns, ghosting, cards stolen & charged, blocked access, primary domains blacklisted, etc.

We could be telling horror experiences like this all day, but we won’t.

Evil clown or rookie clown, it doesn’t matter does it?

Horror stories usually start as fun & inspiring experience, full of hope, rainbows and butterflies…

…untill inevitably “agency”, freelancer or “developer” shows their real face!

The moment you realize you hired “clowns” with shady intentions, your "project" becomes shitshow of damage control 😱.

No more hope, rainbows and butterflies…you were ripped off!

Maybe not intentionally (not all digital marketing clowns are evil, some are simply rookies), but the fact remains.

Luckily for you, THAT days of pushing, shoving, scratching, clawing and hustling your face off to get ahead are finally coming to an end.

Hopefully… 🤞🤞🤞

Joke, joke...🤣. Don't hate us.

No hopes 🤞 and prayers 🙏 in our services, remember?

Use hopes & prayers in your personal life as much as you want or need 🫶.

Regardless, we are pretty sure better days are ahead of you, since you found us, that is.

So how can you know WE are the right choice, and not just another rabbit hole, pixel-pusher chumps, fake gurus or clowns?

Here are a few reasons (and the AFTER part)…

Results based on numbers.
Guaranteed. In writing.

We’re NOT just “web designers” or just “marketers”.

We’re experienced business strategists owning brands across DIY, DWY & DFY models - uplevel EXPERT™, uplevel SMB™, uplevel ONE™ (and four more in the "bakery").

We're in the online trenches for 20 years already!

We should know “a thing or two” on the subject matter.

We experiment & optimize hard so you don’t have to! Deliver everything on a silver platter.

It’s why ALL our products and services have s.c. Better Results Guarantee.

And it’s our “unfair” advantage over our competition that does just this or just that.

Our website is completly different than what you're used to from "me too" agencies.

We know you’ve likely been burned before! We also were. It hurts. We feel you.

Give us the benefit of the doubt and see what happens.

You’ll fall in love with your business & your clients again 🫶.

Only Industry-Specific Solutions

No “custom projects.” You get fast implementation of things proven to work in your industry based on our findings, industry insights, and market trends.

Clear & pre-defined expectations

Clearly defined baselines, how change & success look like and evaluation if we achieved what we agreed upon, what could be next & how it could be better.

Better ROI than you thought possible

More security, more money & freedom, more certainty, more memories, more time with your family, more sand between your toes…more of whatever makes it worthwhile for you.

We’ve got your back

Strong focus on maintainability, scalability, usability, and growth – you as an owner and your business. Future proofing your business through optimization, adaptability & crazy-ass "go extra mile" support.

It’s much more
than just a thing we do.
It’s a mission.

  • Give underdogs (SMB owners) a fighting chance advantage

  • Give SMB owners the power to impact more people with their amazing work

  • End hustling for as many SMB owners as humanly possible so they can live their life and not work 24/7

  • Making it almost impossible to fail for local businesses to get & keep more customers/clients

We want to local SMB owners make more money, feed their family, offer better service and provide better experiences for their employees, their customers, clients, partners, their community…and themselves.

Yes, even if you don’t work with us…ever.

Let's start with revealing the secret for FREE! 👇

🤯 SECRET FINALLY REVEALED

Want to know EXACTLY how your local competitors are doubling their revenue in 2025?
(No ads. No chasing leads. Zero extra work.)

  • What the TOP 1% SMB owners in your industry know about smart lead generation & easier sales in 2025 (that you don’t… yet).

  • 2025’s Silent Sales Revolution: Plug-in system that uplifts revenue like crazy in your industry (those left behind won’t know what hit them)

  • Grandma Approved: zero tech skills needed & zero extra work for you (except 'hot' 🔥 buy-ready prospects)

  • Exact Steps Outlined: Deploy this into your own business with ease

*all are 100% legal (pinky promise). Push the button OR lose to the competition.